Westin 39

 Line 39

How does one make it in a country where your always reminded your “Black”. I personally prefer Jamaican, black makes me feel too dark. Like why are you forcing me to accept something I’m not. Have you ever seen obsidian now that’s black. I’d be careful how you refer to people or maybe it’s just a white thang that the Asians adopted so that they can remind us that they're in charge. But who’s really in control, god wins every time doesn’t he. 

I guess you didn’t know your child could speak huh, must be a black thing (no, kids talk) . Guess I’m stuck on rewind. But I talk to him in a different way. I have to hold his hands at night so that he knows I’m still here my babies filled with fear. “Your black and I can make you Disappear.”Whispered in my ear at nights, at least i said it while you slept.  Sometimes I wish you’d vanish in thin air who’d a thought the guy I met at 6 would turn into my worst nightmare. It’d be a sin to be forced to stay with someone like you.

I pray I get this apartment so that I can finally move on with my life. ( I got the apartment , but the jealous eX girlfriend of my boss decided to flex her muscles over, pen talk; INK has to Bleed) Funny this thing they call systematic oppression, is it created to just keep the African Americans down or does everyone get a taste. 

I guess that’s why everyone smokes right. That’s Wassup Smoke up. Personally I’m not a fan. but it feels like it does my mind some good. Well what’s in your pipe these days,are you smoking for the right reason. Am I the only one that appreciates life? When does it get better. Hello god, that was fun but I’m still waiting for him. I can’t believe you let the devil get some that was disrespectful, I guess y’all are friends. Should I tell the secret or are we still playing keep it. Some would rather Bust. The location so indecent. I can’t believe I’ve been a virgin for so long, why have I been afraid to live out loud oh yea, rape that definitely slowed me down. My virginity was stolen from me, i was 13. 

How do I rescue him when they’ll just teach him to hate me instead. Is the best thing letting go. He’d never be able to raise a black child in America. Darien would resent us both, therefore I have to keep trying. So when does help come. I’m the poor girl in a rich establishment but no one would guess it because I guess two birthday gifts make me look “rich” or whatever that means. Maybe I should take more chances. Do more things that make me happy and stop looking and feeling so Danm depressed after all I have life, right. 

What's The most important thing that god could give you? have you prayed for it? So who’s line is it anyways. Congratulations you’re up. 

I get one night to lay my head here tonight, I didn't have enough money to pay my aunt. Sweet dreams.

I left my London Fog bag there, i was in a hurry. Next stop the Sheraton.

Secret: Chris Gave me a Glass, can we SIP wine together, i know it's his because i asked.