Chronicles Of Chiney B

  {I be your clown, on your favorite channel} Today feels like it looks, miserable the rain is pouring down hard on my rooftop, im nerdular so im analyzing how big the raindrops are. Remembering that time one inch balls of hail left my car completely fucked up, much like my emotions right now. Crushing on someone is a big deal, falling in love with comes with way more responsibility.  I’m filled with emotions as blood gushes to my pad. Totally TMI,   I know the female body is interesting just two days ago I made a phone call to red cross in hopes to get rid of some blood and god answered, as he often does, trying to trust him more and let him guide my ship. My life of sorts; is kind of in shambles. I haven’t been able to connect. I’m missing my friend, been talking to him since I was 12, and now I cant even get a text. There’s a void in my life all my closest friends have started peeling themselves away from me. The loneliness has started to set in, with no friends and ...

“Today hurts, but it will get better”-Chiney B The notes I tell myself over and over again until the time comes where I feel your loving embrace again Robbed of the one thing that makes me, me Your fathers name I curse for doing this to me Trauma after trauma you lock me away because you are done with me “Is that the response you were hoping for”?, followed by subtle laughter Silly reasons every Americans liberty but I as an immigrant should not enjoy such liberties A walk to the park, in an ambulance you go,  A drink at the bar, in an ambulance you go Question my activities in an ambulance you go Death of your father weakens you, in an ambulance you go A night at a friends house your truck breaks down in an ambulance you go Validity or not you are a black woman so your sanity you must prove so we can examine you. Trauma beseeches you! My personality a blank mixture of things I no longer recognize. Tap tap, stay still while I inject my pain  Intramuscular be sure not to contam...

  Last night was quite an interesting night. I sat in my truck in a debacle for quite some time. To go or not to go, after all I wasn’t dressed as nice as I would like, especially for the palm. Wondering if I should enjoy my night out or go home. The girl in jeans. I mean who wear jeans to such a well established place, I wish I had a bit more guidance but some hands I’m too afraid to trust. The Palm, Might I say a staple of Boston Or one of the best to say the least. My favorite part of the establishment was the wall as you approach the bathroom filled with cartoon caricatures. Is this a place for fine fur? it gives me great pause. Your Paloma was quite good a bit too much salt. Wait staff was very friendly quite pleasant. I wish I had chosen better attire but I’m coming into myself so forgive me for just needing a moment. Moments are precious to me.  The butterfly shrimp was delicious a tad bit too much salt but delicious non the less. Presentation was nice. But let’s get do...

The pain of being a daughter is quite an interesting one. We all seek mothers love, when will it ever be enough. I wake up to her yelling at me to do more, I can’t do more from a place where I’m hardly allowed to move, or maybe it’s my cramps that keep me in this bed. Television is training me to sleep. I can’t even watch 2 hours without my mouth falling open and my eyes closing. Or maybe it’s my child thinking I’m too old, or maybe he just Figures if I don’t want to take care of him I should no longer exist, sleep. No not you, wake up- keep reading. My first girl carry was Aushika she was peters daughter. She had a hole in her knee which made her believe she was defective there’s no telling what that hole would have caused, we argued about it, mommy I’m damaged she’d say. I don’t believe anyone is damaged goods but like a guy online stated who goes around advertising themselves as damaged goods. Things often times do not come into fruition if their not meant to come into fruition ofte...