Mommy Dayez- Poetry

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“Today hurts, but it will get better”-Chiney B

The notes I tell myself over and over again until the time comes where I feel your loving embrace again

Robbed of the one thing that makes me, me

Your fathers name I curse for doing this to me

Trauma after trauma you lock me away because you are done with me

“Is that the response you were hoping for”?, followed by subtle laughter

Silly reasons every Americans liberty but I as an immigrant should not enjoy such liberties

A walk to the park, in an ambulance you go, 

A drink at the bar, in an ambulance you go

Question my activities in an ambulance you go

Death of your father weakens you, in an ambulance you go

A night at a friends house your truck breaks down in an ambulance you go

Validity or not you are a black woman so your sanity you must prove so we can examine you.

Trauma beseeches you!

My personality a blank mixture of things I no longer recognize.

Tap tap, stay still while I inject my pain 

Intramuscular be sure not to contaminate my blood stream.

Who are we if not for that glass of wine that calls to me after a long day of work

Drugs from natures earth. A sweet wine i pour into this beautiful glass.

Your name I’m too unsure to call for our kiss was only a dream.

I am me, who I know not, merely a girl who used to be

Chiney B barely says hi to me.

My music and poetry a drag for I do not find soul in me anymore

A myriad of things that used to make me who I am now, missing

Possibly a “gift” in someone’s house.

Unhappy like the rest of the world

Who will ever make use out of a woman like me if my power intimidates you so much that you would rather break me down.

Piece by piece you pull me apart

Psycho

Am I crazy for fighting for the right to be a mother to my son?

Stolen

I was already at the bottom of the barrel when I met you so 

what’s next, the Ground I assume.

Will the next one be afraid to walk barefoot too?

Will there even be another?

I shall marry myself and be enough for me, with hopes some day soon.

Mommy’s boys, hope he never grown up to be too much of a mommy’s boy. Can’t wait to tell you stories of my fight against time to call you my own.

Court after court after court, I will drag you until I get what’s already mine.

God Danm this American system where men and women can’t learn to be amicable and share their love.

Forced to make another love with someone I probably will never love as much as you. 

Pained by my memories of what used to be

My heart bleeds.

Oh how I long to be mommy.

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