Connected

 Hello Fellow Bloggers and Bloggets, and some Croissants I hope you receive this well. I wish to unlock all negative energy from your bodies and restore positive balance to your life. I never envisioned myself as a absent mother, I had always been super supportive of my brothers. Being torn away from my son is eating me alive. Some of the reasons I really want to stay in Boston. The food here is AMAZING. A proposal comes to me today via Instagram from one of the greatest minds I’ve ever known. 

Whether he’s serious about that decision to marry me or not, it’s got me thinking. I am unsure my life is a bit of a mess right now. While my rapist still swirls rumors, I am hopeful it will all clear itself in due time. Personally I’m afraid to re-marry i have started twirling about in my mind with thoughts of being rich and successful, sad part is rumors were already swirling from the things I had been doing for myself. I hate when a person takes credit for your hard work. With the person I had original intentions on marrying. But( I know I never start sentences with But) that’s water under the bridge. I guess I wasn’t good enough. I’m unsure where we stand with all our telepathic fights and simple conversations. Rumors are swirling that he’s with my another woman now and I should move on. I hate to give away something so seemingly good but it has brought nothing but pain to my life. I deserve better. The goodness of my heart that cannot be denied. I’d be a fool to say no to his proposal, wouldn’t I? he’s amazing but I don’t know him personally. I have great admiration for him, that part is clear. I’ve been foolish to jump into situations before fully knowing. But here I am back stepping on my exes in hopes that we can find some common ground so that we can have a better relationship. This Time, than we did when we were children. Who am I to even deserve a man so great. Brittania I guess. Do I think too little of myself. The only thing I’m guilty of is homelessness and caring too much about my family. They’re trying to paint a narrative for the world, after all they’re in charge. My portion of what happened has never been factored into the details of my life. 

Me as a victim of domestic violence and batter. Im tempted to try it atleast once, wouldn’t you. Sometimes I wish the truth would just float in the air so everyone knows what’s true, as soon as the line comes from the liars layer (Mouth). Truth serum I remember so clearly, an amazing creation from Candor. Truth is Everything is Real. Some men just enjoy the satisfaction of Cheating, and feeling wanted. Cheater, Hoe, Liar, common words used to describe innocent women they wish to see sold into Sex. The leading market of the world, let’s face it Sex sells. I’m unsure this guy knows just how hectic my life has been these last few years, I don’t quite enjoy stringing people in I have a psychopath I cant rid myself of. I’d rather die alone in this misery but I’ve barely enjoyed life. 

Obsessed with the microphone, and the idea of having the stage. Who is this woman who threatens my spotlight, I’m sure he ponders. Will she be better than me?

I could no longer compete. The 4 years of sabotage has been enough. The police find it easier to find me a room in a hospital than it is to find a room in a shelter, honestly the hospital is cleaner. The stress of my psychological assault, wears heavy on my face. How many wishes to make me ugly can you find? This has peaked my interest, the microphone from the studio picked up the assault on my body while I tried so desperately to stay focused. Just being Honest. Finally in a new studio with a new engineer and all he screams in my ear is “say Beats”, a name that haunts me forever. The name I’ll never forget the worse producer I’ve ever met.  Between being belittled  for warming up. A once young beautiful gal that I used to be yet still a proposal finds its way to me from one of the greatest minds of all times. I’m a fool. I cannot marry this man, but in his bed I’d love to lay. A few times before I die. While thankful I’ve never been with a older man before. I’m starting to feel like a young girl screaming daddy issues. I think highly of Big Daddy in Vietnam his music is amazing my favorite song comes to mind noi voi em, heavy competition with Binz Da Poet his most recent song Don’t break my heart plays over again in my head. If only he wasn’t so mean to me. Say hi on social Media. He gives me a shout outs on his stage guitar playing, I have encouraged him. I think in some ways I have made it big in Vietnam, the story of me and my child’s father shall live on forever.