Maybe Then I will be Heard

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 Dear Reader,

I owe you an apology. If I don’t survive past this year, I’m sorry for getting you so attracted to me and I’ll disappoint you.  I’ve been under an extreme amount of stress, trying to get custody of my son back while being shoved pills down my throat, as if that is supposed to solve the external circumstances of my life. I feel small bubbles bursting in my head things that I’m too afraid of to tell my doctor. I’m fighting with everyone to get my money back that has been stolen. From fake bitcoin, investors claiming to provide me double the return on my investment. At this point, we’re all being taken for granted by jumping jack taxes, or maybe he’s just a victim as well. I don’t know what more to do to solve the problems that my life has now been drowned in. I just wanted to be an actress, so I can one day make movies and see myself on the big screen in a way that is flattering to me than what I experienced in the mirror. I’m sorry for making you fall in love with my words without being able to passionately provide more to you. I’m filled with problems with no answers for how to solve them. Honestly, if somebody could give me a large sum of money, that would probably solve the majority of them. I don’t know owe much to banks, but my student loans still exist. I was fired from a job that I loved because they were threatened by my strength. My father passed away and I had a hard time with that experience. I lost my mentor and best friend. I love to talk to people now I’m forced into silence the only people that hear my words are you the reader so for that I’m thankful. I’m not quite sure how many people read my blog, or if I’m even important enough to be considered a blogger, but yet my words pour onto this page. I hope one day I hope Oprah learns of my name and is able to help me, or maybe Ellen DeGeneres I just want a home for myself somewhere that I can be comfortable not place with people that have actual disabilities. Miss-categorized by a system that is created to only disadvantage people. I got swept up in the system because my ex-husband wanted to take my child away from me, after all, that’s the only thing I promised would come from our relationship. He forced me into a marriage that I didn’t want to be in trying to be something that he’s not, filling, a place that should only be deserving of a man that is loving, kind, trustworthy, and beautiful. Filling me with mean things in frustration that I don’t warrant in this world. I’m not sure how much more I can take. If you bought my book and spread the word of it, that would make me so happy yours truly Chiney B.

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