a tale of two loves

 Dear Christopher,

 I know I always struggle to pronounce your name. Maybe that’s a sign that I’m not a good match for you. After all. Williams was even harder. We got so caught up on Christoph that you adopted it. No one ever pronounces it that way I like, my name not yours now. But I love the way you say it slightly like a secret. 

When will our Wedding Date be? I’d love to be your woman. But it is your name you have a right, to have it said the way you Like. Back to your name again. For me There will always be a Christoph and Brittan, Even if the two will take a while to be. But secret I don’t like. Only got to spend one day with you by the stairway and I know you would’ve been intrigued by the feeling of sex upon your dick. I’d told this secret for so many years that I burst the seal and everything came bursting  out..I could finally tell the truth I love Christopher so much.

I had fallen in love with you in mind before I even met you. I knew that you were special. We talked different. The day I finally met you all I wanted to do was hold you. That day just felt good you’ve always felt good, but I needed someone to comfort me with their words. I never saw you again, you kept me company with your words, and touch and music.

Or so you told me during the school that you had three brothers three of them with the same name Christopher. I thought by the time I got to you I would be successful and here I am in this valley of despair situation. Maybe it was a sister that you said you had, I can’t remember it was so long ago. I’ve never been the type to ask for help I don’t plan on starting now I’m working on getting things done for myself but it’s clear that we’ve got different goals. I wish I got to tell you in your own letter that I was leaving for America, that I didn’t know the address and that I didn’t know if I’ll ever see you again and that I love you and that you meant the world to me. 

But I only had enough time to write one letter. My handwriting was poor I was young, I had two days to pack and leave and for those two days I hadn’t seen or heard from you. When I asked you where we met you told me Instagram knowing that was a bold face lie but I don’t know how many Christopher Browns there are in the world But I know you were a part of my past I wanted so badly to complete the childhood fantasy of being your wife

He was controlling telling me designated areas to sit which place to be when I met with you and where to be when I see him not to get the two confused. But I love him, if you are two different people I don’t know I fell in love with a cigarette hoping the two are the same you look so different in most of your photos I can’t tell but I haven’t heard rumors of there being twins or triplets so I assume my assumptions are right and believing that there’s really only one you. I wish you all the best and everything you do.

anyways i think im going crazy so you might want to find a new blogger noone is reading my post, of course theres you, but do you even tell people about your sick addiction to my writing you should seek help everyones getting it, why be alone when there are so many resources. use it to your advantage. where was i oh yeah slowly releasing all my poetry to the great Chris Brown.