Blocked Again

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 My Dearest Maurice 

Happy new years readers! This is just a quick message since I’m blocked. Read if you want to. In my daily fantasy of us I imagine you waking up wanting sex. Assuming you want me as your future wife I shouldn’t be worried. Because as I age my hips have brung pain to the party. I had my fun. I hope you just want to chill. One day he’ll be mine again. Am I certain of that still, not anymore. You barely remember me on a daily basis. Messages still lie unopened waiting an emoji or heartfelt reply but that’s not how it’s going ain’t it. It’s going weird. It’s lacking love though you say it your words feel empty and void of true emotion. Or maybe I just don’t feel like you love me the way you say you do. I’ve also found comfort in the voice of another. His calm brings me peace. I’ve known him for almost 7 years now while we are just reconnecting after 30+ years. Our love feels distant almost worn out with time but strong nonetheless. Or maybe I’m dreaming of a different Christmas. One where I’m present. Opening gifts. Or maybe I just wanted to be there for all the good parts. I hate hard times people abandon you and treat you like garbage when they don’t see value in you, often walking all over you suddenly all the money you lent them was for nothing. People only value you so long as they can use you? Am I wrong king? Anyways you’ll probably never read this letter but I thought I’d drop a note to my sweetest love. I’m sure you’ll unblock me again and we’ll play this stupid song and dance again. I deserve better. Keeping public record from now on. This is the second time I’ve been blocked. Idk if he’ll survive a 3rd. Just delete my number then like I swear I don’t understand you Brov why hurt my feelings like this?

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