Chronicles Of Chiney B

  {I be your clown, on your favorite channel} Today feels like it looks, miserable the rain is pouring down hard on my rooftop, im nerdular so im analyzing how big the raindrops are. Remembering that time one inch balls of hail left my car completely fucked up, much like my emotions right now. Crushing on someone is a big deal, falling in love with comes with way more responsibility.  I’m filled with emotions as blood gushes to my pad. Totally TMI,   I know the female body is interesting just two days ago I made a phone call to red cross in hopes to get rid of some blood and god answered, as he often does, trying to trust him more and let him guide my ship. My life of sorts; is kind of in shambles. I haven’t been able to connect. I’m missing my friend, been talking to him since I was 12, and now I cant even get a text. There’s a void in my life all my closest friends have started peeling themselves away from me. The loneliness has started to set in, with no friends and ...

“Today hurts, but it will get better”-Chiney B The notes I tell myself over and over again until the time comes where I feel your loving embrace again Robbed of the one thing that makes me, me Your fathers name I curse for doing this to me Trauma after trauma you lock me away because you are done with me “Is that the response you were hoping for”?, followed by subtle laughter Silly reasons every Americans liberty but I as an immigrant should not enjoy such liberties A walk to the park, in an ambulance you go,  A drink at the bar, in an ambulance you go Question my activities in an ambulance you go Death of your father weakens you, in an ambulance you go A night at a friends house your truck breaks down in an ambulance you go Validity or not you are a black woman so your sanity you must prove so we can examine you. Trauma beseeches you! My personality a blank mixture of things I no longer recognize. Tap tap, stay still while I inject my pain  Intramuscular be sure not to contam...

  Last night was quite an interesting night. I sat in my truck in a debacle for quite some time. To go or not to go, after all I wasn’t dressed as nice as I would like, especially for the palm. Wondering if I should enjoy my night out or go home. The girl in jeans. I mean who wear jeans to such a well established place, I wish I had a bit more guidance but some hands I’m too afraid to trust. The Palm, Might I say a staple of Boston Or one of the best to say the least. My favorite part of the establishment was the wall as you approach the bathroom filled with cartoon caricatures. Is this a place for fine fur? it gives me great pause. Your Paloma was quite good a bit too much salt. Wait staff was very friendly quite pleasant. I wish I had chosen better attire but I’m coming into myself so forgive me for just needing a moment. Moments are precious to me.  The butterfly shrimp was delicious a tad bit too much salt but delicious non the less. Presentation was nice. But let’s get do...

The pain of being a daughter is quite an interesting one. We all seek mothers love, when will it ever be enough. I wake up to her yelling at me to do more, I can’t do more from a place where I’m hardly allowed to move, or maybe it’s my cramps that keep me in this bed. Television is training me to sleep. I can’t even watch 2 hours without my mouth falling open and my eyes closing. Or maybe it’s my child thinking I’m too old, or maybe he just Figures if I don’t want to take care of him I should no longer exist, sleep. No not you, wake up- keep reading. My first girl carry was Aushika she was peters daughter. She had a hole in her knee which made her believe she was defective there’s no telling what that hole would have caused, we argued about it, mommy I’m damaged she’d say. I don’t believe anyone is damaged goods but like a guy online stated who goes around advertising themselves as damaged goods. Things often times do not come into fruition if their not meant to come into fruition ofte...

There’s no place like home and finally being able to settle into your home after weeks of searching and designing the perfect home in your head and finally finding one that meets all of your expectations and some virtually impossible, but some people are just lucky. Then there’s the renovation if necessary, and decor. It’s one thing to live in a space that someone else has designed for you but designing your own home there is nothing like it. After all, the home buying process is a ladies choice isn’t it. It’s always about finding a home to make that special someone happy. At least so I thought. Home preparation and the agonizing feeling of the home buying process is and will always be an experience to remember, I just pray one day I’ll have a home again, or be able to help other people build and create homes.   Personally I hope everyone has the chance to experience the home buying process I knew it was going to happen for me just not in the way it did. As I watch Simeon Panda and...

  Today is a beautiful day at least on the outside. Tomorrow hopefully will be better than today, I definitely woke up on the wrong side so frustrated at my circumstances in this life. Everyone just seems to want money we’re giving them everything they want by destroying other peoples lives. I’ve open multiple bank accounts now. but Peter stole all of my bank account information out of my valuables folder along with a bunch of other important documents. So as far as I’m concerned they probably took the money out of my account and closed it, I don’t even know. Everything I have was placed in the basement of his house. When I finally was able to get a storage unit I went back to get everything he told me everything was gone, taken by my mom when I went to my mom to confirm she said I didn’t take anything. Not only that she couldn’t gain access to the garage. So now I’m stuck between he’s a liar and she’s a liar. Anyways. They placed me on medication here at the hospital after finally...

Personally I am not a fan of hospitalizations nor do I enjoy frequenting the hospital. However since I am married an incompetent Asian, let’s not forget the part Mexican, my life has been a complete disaster. Now I am uncertain if the doctors here have ever read any of my blog posts my articles are quite concise not to mention the fact that a few of my articles have already been removed from the Internet however I think that is a testament to my thought process and my ability to comprehend and interpret. I don’t really want to get into stale stories however I find myself having to repeat myself over and over and over again and no one wants wants to be stuck in the past when there’s so much future and present to be lived. When I moved to Boston I was extremely excited because it was not the south I am aware of the systematic oppression that occurs in the south and I made sure to educate myself on things that has happened to other African Americans. When I first came to America I was qui...